The Proust Questionnaire
Tiffany introduced it to me, via Jason via Anna. (And Sam begat William and William begat..)
I like these types of exercises, especially when I'm foggy and panicked generally unclear (as this Monday morning finds me). The Proust questionnaire is named for the French writer Marcel Proust, serving as the inspiration for more introspective interviews, an exercise in self exploration and a peak into the true motivations of the people providing the answers.
1. What is your idea of perfect happiness?
Emotional health and physical health, the ability to cover my expenses without any great anxiety, knowing without hesitation that I am loved, supported and valued by the people I love, support and value...and the freedom to create things with my own two hands.
2. What is your greatest fear?
That the things currently causing me grief, will never pass. That this, right now, is all there is to life.
3. What is the trait you most deplore in yourself?
My fear of inadequacy.
4. What is the trait you most deplore in others?
Cowardice.
5. Which living person do you most admire?
My aunt Elizabeth. She finds the growth in every challenge. She does amazing things but remains incredibly humble. She can hug you and reduce you to tears just from the love coming from her pores. She sees the best in you and never lets you deny that it is there. She finds joy and beauty in the things many take for granted. She's faced incredible adversity with the courage of a lion and never reduces herself to bitterness. She loves hard, thinks unselfishly, fights for what she believes in and...she's just a wonder.
6. What is your greatest extravagance?
Art supplies.
7. What is your current state of mind?
Afraid. Confused. Scattered. Isolated.
8. What do you consider the most overrated virtue?
Chastity. But only because of the other recognized virtues, it is the one least inclined to impede your ability to be a healthy, happy, productive individual. I know lots of people that ain't "chaste" but live life with fulfillment and purpose.
9. On what occasion do you lie?
When I'm afraid that the truth is going to really hurt someone with no positive consequence, self included.
10. What do you most dislike about your appearance?
My stomach.
11. Which living person do you most despise?
Well, there are a lot of people I don't like. The world is chock full of regrettable people. Though I find it more often to be a curse more than a blessing, I can sympathy or empathy for most. The living person I most despise right now might be Rush Limbaugh. He's dangerous and stirs unscrupulous passions for his own amusement. That sort of small minded deviance works on my ability to think kind thoughts.
12. What is the quality you most like in a man?
Integrity. Not just one's ability to speak truthfully, but to do so at the cost of your own comfort and ease. Someone that is willing to be seen for who they are. To stand in their truth and not the shadow of what they want others to believe they are.
13. What is the quality you most like in a woman?
Grace. The ability to consider feelings and actions with wisdom and well being and to act gracefully even when it might be difficult to do so.
14. Which words or phrases do you most overuse?
I can't.
15. What or who is the greatest love of your life?
My dog. I can always count on her to love me, tend to my wounded feelings and remind me that there's a being out here that will always give as much as or more than she takes. My childhood best friend, Jameel. Over thirty years and going strong. He's been the only one to always be there, to protect me on those occasions I couldn't protect myself and to keep all of my truest thoughts, fears and feelings safe and secure. He's probably the only person I've known that closely or long who has never snatched the rug out from under me.
16. When and where were you happiest?
The day I graduated from college and saw absolute blissful joy and delight on my father's face, knowing I had everything to do with it. A time long ago when I thought I was in love with someone just as in love with me. While everything else is in that story is but a work of fiction, that feeling I had was truer than most anything I've ever experienced. And I try to remain grateful for it.
17. Which talent would you most like to have?
The ability to read minds.
18. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?
My tendency toward self-preoccupation.
19. What do you consider your greatest achievement?
I think that's yet to be discovered.
20. If you were to die and come back as a person or a thing, what would it be?
An eagle. (feathers, not helmets)
21. Where would you most like to live?
Sometimes I think New Mexico. Loads of pottery there, lots of ceramic inspiration, still away from the hustle and bustle of life in a city. Places I would spend a year or two? London. Toronto. New Zealand. Portugal.
22. What is your most treasured possession?
My laptop.
23. What do you regard as the lowest depth of misery?
A life with no other passion but material gain or personal recognition.
24. What is your favorite occupation?
Potter. Followed by writer.
25. What is your most marked characteristic?
I honestly don't know. I don't trust that I've ever had a clear lens for how others see/observe me.
26. What do you most value in your friends?
Their sincerity.
27. Who are your favorite writers?
Neil Gaiman, Octavia Butler, Pearl Cleage, Paulo Coehlo, C.S. Lewis, Anchee Min, Gabriel Garcia Marquez, Maya Angelou
28. Who is your hero of fiction?
Ellen Ripley from the Alien series.
29. Which historical figure do you most identify with?
I don't think I know enough about the inner workings of any historical figure to say who that person would be.
30. Who are your heroes in real life?
The people who are driven each and every day to the commitment of human services, community service and charitable efforts.
When Michelle & I went to the Outer Banks of NC in September, we stopped by a really nice store called Sandy Bay Gallery. After making our jewelry purchases and chatting with the owner, we walked back outside and stopped to admire the hippo pottery. But oh look! Hippo Mouth has a resident!
Is that the blurpiest little frog ever? The shop owner saw us looking and came out and said he lives in there, and that sometimes there is another one that hangs out close by. But before I could get more photos inside the hippo, she coaxed him out onto the wall:
and that is about half of my vacation photos right there....
Spent all day at our first debate tournament of the year. I hate having to work on Saturdays, but the kids had such a good time and learn so danged much from the experience that it actually makes it worth the time. We took seven teams (three students to a team) to the tournament where they debated the topics:
- California should not require an exit exam for graduation from public high school.
- The U.S. should end corn subsidies.
- College athletes should be paid.
- The U.S. should offer a health insurance public option to all citizens.
Keep in mind that our debaters are in the sixth, seventh, and eighth grades. They have about a month to research and prepare to debate both the proposition and opposition sides of all four resolutions. At the tournaments, the kids find out which teams they'll be debating against and whether they will be debating the proposition or opposition sides. Twenty minutes before the debate begins the league presidents announce the topic and the teams have twenty minutes to write out their notes after which they debate the topic.
They are amazing across the board!!!
Watching a bunch of 6th through 8th graders thoughtfully construct arguments and respectfully debate each other with gusto, then go outside and play on the field together does a lot to give one hope for the future ...
And before I begin let me qualify my thoughts as I am a Cancerian and emotionally-driven person who cries when she's happy, cries when she's said and many times feels first and thinks second.
Don't make sensitivity a weapon.
I'm all for explaining to people that you may potentially be thin-skinned and making requests to consider your heart before entering into a potentially combustible dialogue. At all times we should take into consideration how our thoughts and expressions of them may make others feel. A defensive maneuver will almost always beget a defensive maneuver. It's the fundamental rule to conflict. You hit me, it hurts. I hit back, you hurt and the dance escalates until two people are saying or doing regrettable things. Rather than using your sensitivity as a license to kill, use it as a means to find more productive ways to speak with love. Rather than letting your sensitivity give you an unrealistic sense of entitlement and petulant expectation, try and commit to the notion that it always takes two parties to create a disagreeable relationship conflict. You are hurt...in some ways big or small, they are likely hurting, too.
Don't make sensitivity a wall to constructive criticism.
There comes a time in every adult's life when you have to suck it up and face tough talk. Especially when the tough talk potentially saves you from a choice, an action or measure that could have long-term or especially painful consequences. While I am sensitive, I expect and almost demand that the people I love, give it to me straight, particularly when I screw something up. Because I am human. I am going to do that. And yes, you can give straight talk without pulling out the clubs and knives. So keep in mind that sometimes when people speak sternly to you, it is more important to identify the value in their statement...especially when you know behind the annoyance that statement is coming from a place of love. It's nice to hear only about the wonderful things we do; but it's better to hear about the ways we can grow and elevate to keep amazing ourselves and others. Never use your 'sensitivity' as a means to avoid owning your stuff.
And you know how I feel about owning your stuff.
We've reached the time in the school year when I get really exhausted. We're really busy all day, then I have after school coaching that I have to stay for, sometimes, until 5:30 or 6:00. I got up on the grumpy side of the bed today and I feel like I'm gonna rip somebody's head off (of course, not literally, but I'm sure you know what I mean ...). I'm tired of asking kiddos that I'm coaching to turn in permission slips so they can ACTUALLY PARTICIPATE in Saturday's event. I'm tired of working practices around kids' myriad other commitments. Hey, I know we all want it all, but at some point we need to teach you to prioritize your commitments so next time around, it's gonna be "fish or cut bait, kids ..." I'm tired of telling the same kids for the 100th time not to play games on the 'puters in the liberry. I'm tired of telling the same kids that if they're going to "study" as loudly as they are (largely having a friggin' party like it's a friggin' pub) that they should move to a table outside on the terrace.
Previous to tonight I haven't been a very good furniture shopper. Two spring breaks ago I was charged with buying sofas for S/O's and my condo in Honolulu. I ended up paying $1200 for sofas that were worth only about $250-$300. Needless to say, the experience made me feel less than great about myself. It was a big painful lesson learned. Recently, I've been looking for two pine armoires to hold my clothes and I turned to Craig's List. I found a pretty nice pine armoire for $150 that was a really good buy. Tonight, however, S/O and I picked up a second armoire that is of MUCH better quality. It's solid (and heavy) as hell and we got it for ... $40!!! The owner just wanted to get rid of it. Apparently a good number of people had come to see it, but because it was so danged heavy there were no actual takers for it. Well ... It now has a new home!!!
Yay for Craig's List and used furniture!!!
I went out for dinner with some co-workers last night. Now, I'm not the most sociable person on the planet, city, block, faculty ... Let's just say that I don't present myself well in groups where I don't know the other people very well and it wouldn't surprise me at all if the term "socially awkward" has passed the lips of multiple colleagues when describing me to others ... Anyway, I've come to realize that, being a tad socially awkward tends to make one into Bubble Boy--I'm totally not plugged into the good gossip and I don't have even the vaguest sense of what colleagues' opinions about one another might be.
In a lot of ways, being Bubble Boy is kind of a good thing (though being socially awkward ... not so much). Every once in a while, though, it is MOST FASCINATING to venture out of my bubble and find out what the world outside is thinking.
It's nice to know, for example, that other people keep a mental list of co-workers that they'd vote off the island in a heartbeat if given the chance because it doesn't make me feel as bad about mine (though, from the conversation I suspect that I might be the only one who keeps an actual physical list ... ha, ha, ha ... just kidding ... sort of ...). It's also distressing, though, to think that you might be on someone else's top four (actually, I'm sure that I'm probably in the top two of at least one person's list, but he's a total bag of intestinal gas so being on his list is something I can live with ...). At work, I try to pretend that I'm a nice person, but you know it is REALLY HARD to fake that kind of thing for as long as I've been working at the place.
Anyway, the upshot is that it was fun and I'm a Bubble Boy ...
Hey there friends. Yes, it's that time of year again. The time when I post photos of my clay babies and announce I'm selling them on the innurnets.
I try to limit how often I do these updates here, especially since I have a pottery blog that I use neglect for those purposes. But I did want to share my progress with you because I figured you'd like to see them I could use the supplemental income.
I've graduated to lids, casserole dishes and bigger bowls and plates. We're moving on up.
To ooh and ahh, see below. To shop, you can find me here.
When we quit thinking primarily about ourselves and our own self-preservation, we undergo a truly heroic transformation of consciousness. - Joseph Campbell
This summer, I accepted a co-executive director position with a arts-based non-profit. Before you go throwing confetti in my face, let me first clarify some things.
I still have my previous position with my current employer.
This position feeds my soul and not my wallet.
Now, proceed with the confetti. *dons protective garb*
Today, I visited an African American museum and cultural center here in Austin, TX to speak with their director about bringing our two missions together. It went swimmingly. As soon as I have more details firmed you'll be hearing a lot more about this next project but for now I just have to tell you...
The minute I left my meeting today, I remembered everything I have loved about community engagement. I was energized, alive, empowered and nearly intoxicated off of the joy of knowing we might just play a positive part in the development and artistic awareness of under-served children. It reminded me as I raced home on a brilliantly crisp fall morning in Austin, there is no greater satisfaction than the service we can offer to others. No matter how big or small.
It also reminded me just how much joy is a state of mind. A perspective. A lens. It cannot be found in wealth or things. But it can be found in giving of yourself for reasons that don't have a thing to do...with you.
Every Tuesday and Thursday, Scooter Kitty and I take part in early morning swim sessions with a bunch of other co-workers. We get into the outdoor pool (which thankfully is heated since it can sometimes get as cold as the 40s even in La La Land) at about 6:20 and we swim until about 7:15 or so. What is really nice is that our school has faculty locker rooms and they even provide clean towels for us to use (pretty crazy, huh?).
Anyway, here's the thing ... Most of the time the place is pretty clean, but I guess men being men there are times when it crosses the line into grossness. This morning I got into the locker room, changed into my swim gear and got going with my swim. Nothing seemed much out of the ordinary and the locker room was in normal civilized human being locker room condition. After finishing my swim I entered the first of the double-doors to the locker room and I was greeted by the very distinct smell of gym clothes in VERY BAD need of a LONG dance with some 2X Ultra Concentrated Tide with Febreze!
OMFG!!!
Talk about RIPE!!! Thankfully, whoever belonged to the togs had left by the time I returned to the locker room and wasn't there. As curious and I am about who the offensive togs belong to you should know that there was NO WAY IN HELL that I was going to touch any of the togs left sprawled on the locker room bench in order to find out!!! Geez, though ... I just CANNOT believe that someone actually allowed that set of clothes to touch their epidermis!!! OMFG!!! GROSS!!!
Ewwwwwwww!!!
Honestly (and this is NOT hyperbole for entertainment value, but the honest truth), I literally threw up a little in my mouth before catching my self and forcing myself to breath through my mouth!!!
Ewwwwwwww!!!
I successfully finished my shower without gagging any further, but ...
Ewwwwwwww!!!
And just so all of you know, I NEVER shower in locker rooms without my trusty flip flops
Ewwwwwwww!!!
If people will wear clothing that smells like that who KNOWS what they have on them when they get in that shower!
Ewwwwwwww!!!
